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Sunday, 11 June 2017

The trophy wife


I woke up this morning in deep contemplation about the choices we make in life. Each of us have a set of standards by which we live and those standards largely determine what we get out of life. Some of us put a lot of thought into tailoring those standards with morals, ethics, religion, values, etc. Others seem to make it up as they go along, allowing the emotion of the moment to dictate terms. Anyway, one of those choices I made, concerned shaping myself into someone's life partner.
It is all fine and well to set up a list of attributes that you would like your future life partner to tick, but I wonder how many of us set such a list for ourselves. I have, and I have determined to ensure that I would become the best me I could possibly be. Living a Christ-centered life, this inevitably meant that I would bring every idea, inspiration and thought to God in prayer, before implementing it in my life. Finally, the person I wanted to be, had to measure up to His standards first and foremost. There are a couple of passages from the Bible that I took as guidelines in this quest and I'll share a few with you:
Ephesians 5:1-2 "Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God." (NLT)
Romans 12:1-2 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." (NKJV)
A direct result of this God-centered value system, was that I realized real early on that I never wanted to be a trophy wife. Having studied fashion design, I was introduced to the false sense of security that people gain from outward beauty. These things are fleeting and fake, no matter how hard you try to cling on to them, or how much faith you put in them. No, instead of wanting to be a trophy wife, I would much rather be a treasured wife. When I look into my husband's eyes, it is not lust I want to see, but love.
Why am I writing this today? I meet so many women who are spending small fortunes on their appearances in order to win the affections of a man. I am not condemning the art of taking care of yourself physically. All I am saying, is that you should not neglect taking care of the inside as well. Actually, I want to encourage you to take better care of the inside. These are the things that will last. Now, instead of drawing up a checklist for your future partner, I want to encourage you to draw up a checklist for yourself. Stop worrying about recognizing Mr. Right, and start focusing on becoming Mrs. Right.
Just for fun, I will share a satirical poem I wrote about this topic with you. It is written from the man's perspective and is titled, quite aptly, The Trophy Wife.

I’ve gathered trophies throughout my life
and in return, they’ve gathered dust.
When I matured I looked for a trophy wife,
for I was mistakenly thinking love was lust.

My quest introduced me to many women
who pranced and paraded bottled beauty,
yet they all reminded me of a bad omen
more interested in quantity than quality.

Finally I found one that stood out from the rest
not because of how she looked or what she wore,
but because her character made her seem the best,
as if it reached deep down inside to her core.

But when at last, I knew I wanted the treasure
and not the trophy as a steady life companion,
I found I did not seem to meet her measure
as she was not interested in a stud stallion.

An original poem by Miekie (Marietjie Uys).

Marietjie Uys (Miekie) is a published author. You can buy my books here:
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